Me Inga with the ryggsäck!

Plup pluuuu pluplu pluuu plupluplu plu pluuuuuuu! Struggling with my French and feeling low. Is it just me? Am I stupid or what? I just can't seem to remember all these strange sounds and words, can't get them to stay inside of my brain long enough to have them there when I need them. Well, I mean, I can say things like; Would you like some coffee? Hello, how are you? I'm fine! My name is Madame PluPlu. Thank's for the food (which I sometimes happen to turn into "Thank's for the bull", but that's ok). So, I CAN say some few things, but this just won't do it if I want to live here, and it's been 2 months already. I kinda thought I would be a bit more talkative by now, but no.

M phoned many different French-courses for immigrants, and we've been around talking to them, but they all turned me down due to one missing paper for the immigration, we are still waiting for some decisions to be made in the process. We might get some important papers next week! Yeeeiiiiippiiii! Stressful to wait all this time.
But so, when I had almost given up on hope, some friendly little place welcomed me, probably they went around some rules for that, and I'm finally gonna start my road to French interaction next week! Wow! Suddenly I have a new feeling about this place and I'm feeling much happier. It's been heavy to feel so outside of everything due to language problems and feeling new and lost and without work. But now at least I will be meeting some new people twice a week and learn French and have something to get me going. I've been going down this spiral of loneliness for some weeks. Even though M is helping me a lot and we have spent so much time together, it's difficult to be dependent on only one person. I actually have got one job already, once a week I give Swedish-lessons for a guy, and that's fun. I try my best to teach M Swedish too, and he's GOOD! It's gonna be fun to be able to speak 3 languages fluently together one day!

Immigration is a funny thing, all of the sudden I feel closer to all the other nationalities of immigrants around me than before - people from China, Brazil, Argentina, India, Pakistan, Zambia, Chile, Japan... - and me... Strange, I never thought of immigrants this way before, but suddenly I get a small insight in what kind of process we have to go through to move to another country, and man!, it's a lot to think about and crazy much papers to fill in and get and send here and there and copies to be made and photos to be taken and stuff and stuff. And before you leave home, everything goes into a crazy spinn of papers, doctors examinations with x-ray of your lungs, blood tests, control of my eyes and more and 50 questions to answer like; "Have you got HIV?" "How much alcohol do you drink per week?." And then selling my stuff at home, packing stuff to bring in 3 big bags, leaving my job and colleges whom I love, leaving my home, saying bye-bye to friends and family (oh, how much I miss you all!) and then PLOPP!!! - you land in a completely new context and are supposed to start everything over just like that. Sorry, but I can't help feeling a bit lost and confused - and lonely. You know, it sounds like this amazing adventure - and yes, in many ways it is - but at the same time, it's damn hard to do it all over, harder than I thought. Thank god I have all these Chinese and Indians and Brazilians to belong to - if only I could understand their language...